I'm guessing most people who suffers from a mental illness has something they say to keep themselves going when it feels like the pain will never end. For me, I somehow keep my faith by saying "maybe tomorrow". Maybe tomorrow I'll achieve everything I set out to do, maybe tomorrow I'll wear nice clothes and make up, maybe tomorrow I'll go to dinner with friends, maybe tomorrow I'll bake, maybe tomorrow I'll wake up feeling refreshed, maybe tomorrow I'll manage to will myself out of bed before 12, maybe tomorrow will be better. Maybe, just maybe, I'll feel happy. The thought of a better tomorrow carries me through my current day. If I can hang on to the hope that tomorrow could be the day it all starts to get better, then I have no reason to give up today. Although in the back of my head, there is a list of a thousand reasons to pack it in. But if I can keep the positivity of a better tomorrow, then I can power through my day, no matter how difficult it feels to move and breath. Maybe tomorrow sounds like an excuse to not try in the moment, I know, but sometimes I'm so caught up in not being able to do something that saying maybe tomorrow gives me courage that I could achieve it, not today but tomorrow. Often my "tomorrows" aren't really the next day, sometimes they're weeks later. But when I finally achieve something that has taken weeks of saying "maybe tomorrow", I get a huge sense of success and relief. Relief because I could do it, eventually. Relief because I didn't give up. Relief that although my mental illness stops me from achieving many things, that one day it didn't. There is no magic cure for depression and anxiety, nor would I want it because having to fight makes me stronger, or so I hope. Sometimes my "maybe tomorrow" is filled with broken promises, guilt, and sadness. But, they are always said with strength and optimism. My brain, mentally and physically, can't handle everything, every single day. However, maybe tomorrow I'll wake up with a smile. When I decided to start a blog, I had completed every process before deciding a name. It's something that took me over an hour to think of and even then, I wasn't sure that Maybe Tomorrow was going to be the right name. I sat here designing things and writing my first post, trying out different names but I kept coming back to it. I worried it wasn't clear enough or didn't make sense but then came to realise my blog name had to mean something to me. And Maybe Tomorrow does. It might not scream mental health in your face and I don't think you can necessarily know from the name what my blog is about. But it offers a sense of hope and that above anything is what I want this blog to be. Somewhere that you can come and feel like you aren't battling this all on your own. There is hope and there is life during depression, you just have to stick through the dark times to get to the days filled with sunshine.
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Hey there, I'm Jasmine, your average 23 year old working in childcare and living in England. Maybe Tomorrow follows my journey living with mental health issues and multiple chronic health conditions, all whilst trying to have some fun along the way.
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May 2020
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