First post....

'​Welcome to my first blog post. I’m very torn between two halves, one half doesn’t even know where to begin this post or how to start this off but then the other half wants to jump right into the nitty gritty stuff. I never thought I would get to a place of comfort to be able to share my experience, let alone tell the people I love and care about it too. But it is time to open up, not for my sake but for the sake of all those who suffer with mental illness in silence, I’ve been there. It’s a dark and lonely place but reading other people's experiences was often what gave me just a shred of hope on my darkest days. Reminding me that I wasn’t alone, or crazy for being this way and most importantly that it wasn’t my fault. 
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​Writing was and always has been my best form of therapy. When moving house, I found dozens of journals with the scattered thoughts of a 10 year old me and the obsession to write it all out didn’t end there. Having a bad day? I write. Feeling sad? I write. Feeling happy? I write. Something bad happened? I write. Something good happen? I write. And thanks to all those journals I’ve had things to look back on when I felt like I was losing a sense of who I was. However, writing journals, stories and poems are all little pieces of me left on pages. I wrote throughout my whole experience, from the moment it all started to the minute I felt somewhat recovered. It doesn’t help anybody by staying on the pages of those journals or the word documents on my laptop. But here on this blog, they might just be able to help someone see the light. I know the pressures of having a blog, I do and I’m not going to overwhelm myself by setting crazy goals, so I’m starting simple. 1-2 posts a week to start off with. I don’t want to go running head first into this and crash. I want to give this blog time to become something and I need to take care of myself whilst doing so. I finally want to give myself the chance to tell my story now that I am no longer ashamed or fearful of what people might say. I fully realise I will probably be spoken about and receive negative comments but like we’ve been taught since primary school, if you haven’t got anything nice to say, don’t say it. I am not forcing anyone to read this, not even my mum or best friends. 
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​I’m choosing to do this despite my anxiety and fears because I’m hopeful. Of what? I’m not exactly sure, but I’m hoping to help people with their journey and restoring some of my faith in humanity. Like Maya Angelo once said ‘ there is no greater agony than bearing an untold story’. So I’m telling my story, I’m not ashamed or fearful of what may happen because the worst part already did, I lost people and myself and there isn’t much worse than that. Writing about it, for me, is the easiest part and I want to comfort those who feel like no one is fighting their corner. I am. I am here for you. You are loved and valued. You still have many days ahead of you filled with happiness.