This week marks 1 year since I got the emergency help I needed. It's been 1 year since I made a decision that has and will impact me for the rest of my life. It's been 1 year since I gave up then spent the next 6 months fighting like hell to make it through each day. One day, when the burden of that day and the following weeks isn't so heavy on my heart and those around me, I will share my experience but today, today I want to take in the enormity of surviving this year.
A year that has been filled with tears, an endless amount of battles, therapy sessions, doctors appointments, strength and somehow laughter. One can never fully appreciate ones own strength until the world you're living in collapses, yet you rise up. I was up standing on my own two feet and the next minute, I fell. Deep into a pit of darkness, anger and pain. The outside world seemed like a foreign object that I couldn't touch. It took me forever to climb out of that darkness.
But I'm here, one year on thanking my lucky stars that I made it and to celebrate that, I've decided to do a 25km (15 miles) walk for the charity Mind. Now, I'm not going to lie when I say I'm absolutely sh*tting myself that I'm not going to manage and have to crawl over the finish line. However the fact that I survived moments that I really can't put into words, I'm going to have hope that it'll be alright. 15 miles doesn't sound like a lot to many people but to me it is a huge distance. Even 5 miles for someone with chronic pain feels like a mission yet I'm going to embrace this for what it is. A celebration (I mean, I'll need to eat lots of cake along the way to call it that) of overcoming a heck of a year and proving to myself that I am strong enough to do this.
My mum and 3 of her amazing friends have decided to do it with me....because let's be honest, I have the motivation of a sloth at the best of times. I'm excited, nervous and happy that I'm in a place that I can do this mentally. Physically is a whole different story (and blog post) but I'm going to train slowly and LISTEN to my body.
I'm attaching the link to our justgiving page but am in no means asking for any donations from blog readers. I am sharing this because I want to show you that it gets better. If you are in the darkness, know that you will be able to fight your way out. If you had asked me a year ago if I would ever be able to walk 15 miles, the answer would be a straight up NO. But now, a year on I have it in me to do this or at the very least try.
Wish me luck. I will most certainly need it, but luckily my mum is a pro walker and will kick my butt out of bed for some practice walks. I will post regular updates on the blog's Facebook page and as always, thank you thank you for all your support. I am devoted to making a difference in mental health and this walk, is one step to doing that.
Hey there, I'm Jasmine, your average 23 year old working in childcare and living in England. Maybe Tomorrow follows my journey living with mental health issues and multiple chronic health conditions, all whilst trying to have some fun along the way.
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